ツ We're not the same

We're not the same. I'm me; you're you.
Identical twins aren't that identical. Two raindrops are not alike.
Why compare ourselves to others? Others ain't us.
We might live in the same society but we're still individuals.
I love coffee while you might love tea.
Chocolate is my drug of choice; cake might be yours.
No biggie, I ain't mad at you. I'm still me; you're still you.

No matter how hard you try, you won't be like her.
You can wish all you want but you are you and will never be her.
We are not the same. Me, you. You, her.

We don't have the same path and aren't meant to travel on the same road.
One way will work for them and another will work for us.
The nose you've got is the one that has been made for you.
Don't wish you had her skin, her personality, her shape, her laugh, her hair...
Be thankful you've got your skin, your personality, your shape, your laugh, your hair...
We are products of our background, our experiences, our culture.
So why do we compare to others like we're supposed to be like the rest of them?

Do you and let them do them.
We don't have the same goals; why then should we go down the same road?
What's good for you might not be good for me.
One loves numbers; another loves colors. Yet, one isn't better than the other.
We need to appreciate the people that we are, as unorthodox as some of us might be.
We shouldn't desire to be like others; we should desire to be our true self.
Find out who you are and stick to it.

Be the original you. Not the copy. Not the edited version.
Let no one fool you: Authenticity is IN. Photoshop is OUT.

Don't compromise.

Most single women are like ripe mangoes...

...anxiously waiting to be picked.

image source

In the house I grew up, there was a big yard with three mango trees. When I wanted to eat some mangoes, all I had to do was give the trunk of the tree a couple of hits and the ripe mangoes would descend like raindrops. The more ripe the mangoes were, the less force it would require to make them fall. A light blow of the wind would be enough to have the ripe mangoes break off of the branches and fall onto the grass. The really really ripe ones would fall on their own without any "outside" help. They were orange, ripe, juicy and tired of just hanging there on the tree branches. They were as ready as they come.

Nothing wrong with being a ripe mango, but everything wrong with lowering standards to secure matrimonial union. We can't be so desperate to be chosen, "consumed", caught, or loved that it takes minimal to no effort for a man to "capture" us. We can't desire companionship so much that we feel unwanted or not good enough when there's no potential mate in sight.

You have to know the type of man you want, the type that you feel good with, the type that you can handle and live with. Your type. And that man has to want YOU. If a man doesn't fit what you're looking for (considering that you've got realistic demands), don't force it simply because you want a man. 

A wedding is for a day; marriage is for EVER.

Marriage is a difficult journey. It's best to start it with someone you respect and care for, someone who loves you for you. Cliché but true.

Used, abused, not amused [part one]

Do you have people in your life who are simply there to use and abuse you? I mean, those people who bring you nothing but headaches, only here to suck the energy left in you. They have mastered the art of receiving but have totally missed the lessons on giving.

If you haven't met anyone like that yet, worry not, they're coming for you. Keep your eyes open because those predators are as shrewd as mosquitoes. The little beasts rest on you, suck your blood and leave you with a poisonous gift that itches like a yeast infection. They have to be subtle when coming for your blood because they know (oh they know) that if you catch them in the act, it's the death penalty, straight up. Of course, I'm still talking about the mosquitoes. Please, do not kill anyone who uses and abuses of your kindness.

Actually, don't kill anyone, period.

Anyway, I believe that the relationships in our lives have different purposes and not all relationships are meant to last forever. I think that once some of us realize that, we won't hang on to relationships as if our lives depended on it. Some people are here merely to pass us by; they're here for a day, a month, or a year. They just aren't here to stay forever. You won't grow old with a lot of them. Only a few will make you wish you could be together forever and ever. Those temporary "friends" (or whatever you might call them) come to teach us lessons, to build our characters, to open our eyes to something, then POUF! they're gone. I don't mean that they die; just that they're no longer going to be important elements in our lives. 


While the realization that not all friendships carry on a FOREVER mark might sadden some of you, it might bring others a sense of relief. Now you can look at those mosquito friends [who only love you for your human blood and leave you with awful itching, swelling souvenirs] and not feel so much anger and frustration towards them. Why? Because y'all don't have to stay friends! Instead, you ask yourself, "What are they here to teach me? What am I supposed to take from this relationship? Why has this energy-draining, anger-awakening, kindness-abusing person been put on my path?" 


You're allowed to secretly hope that your relationship with the blood-sucking friend is more on the temporary side of God's plan. You're allowed to pray fervently about that. There are just people we don't want to be friends with forever. 


Ahem.


You see, in the past I might have grabbed on to the sleeves of a few people. For different reasons, I was unwilling to let them go, reluctant to endorse failure (because giving up equaled failing), determined to fight for the crumbs, and adamant about leaving my old ways of sternness and impatience behind. The problem is, when you do all those things and fall in the hands of the wrong people, you will be used and abused but, believe me, you will not be amused! Needless to say, my old ways caught up with me and it was with sternness that I dealt with the mosquitoes of my life.


Fool me once, shame on you. USED
Fool me twice, shame on me. ABUSED
Fool me three times nah that ain't happening. NOT AMUSED

Missing out on greatness?

I accomplished something great the other night: I worked out. (^_^) It has been two months since I've moved my body properly or have attempted to pump my heart and increase my blood flow. I had mixed emotions when my sister (Big Sis*) asked me to join her for an hour of walking and jogging. At first, I didn't want to because I didn't feel like doing any type of work. That's what happens when you go a while without working out; it's harder to get back into it. I ended up power walking for four miles. It felt really good on my thighs and the weather was perfect outside. The following days, it was my butt that was hurting. It's the good type of pain.

I can't wait to get back into running so that my body can be alive again. I used to be able to climb stairs as if I was walking on flat land; however, the other day, I found myself breathing hard when I reached the top of the stairs. Seeing the slowness with which I was going up, you would've thought I was some old lady with knee problems.

That's still not the reason why I wish to move more. Truth is, I've been told that you have much better sex when you're healthy. Well, at least the likelihood of you having good sex is higher than that of a lazy person.
My mother confirmed it. 

Better

Greater

Sweeter

Coming from a woman who's been with the same man for 30 years, I have to say: I believe her. Now, as it is with most things in life, the major problem isn't believing but doing the work.

Hum, how bad do I want the best, greatest, sweetest? 
(¬_¬)




*Names have been changed to protect identity and avoid retaliation. Any resemblance to you, anyone you know or think you know is purely coincidental. Or not.